Blessed Beyond Belief

Exactly a week ago today I went into surgery for the removal of the left lobe of my thyroid and the isthmus. I was terrified that the results of that procedure were going to change my life forever. Unable to really let my mind admit to that but being past it, I can honestly say that now. Dr. Abrameit did an amazing job with my surgery and I have had a great recovery. I am still healing but the news we received 48 hours following the surgery made me feel like a healed woman. My tumor was benign. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from not only my shoulders but all those around me. I know I had tons of people faithfully praying for me all around the world and I strongly believe God heard those prayers and He answered them. I can not say thank you to everyone enough. I am also grateful for the loving friends and family who stood beside me during this scary process. My husband was the best "nurse" I could ever ask for. He showed me an amazing amount of love, patience and concern during this time and the days following my surgery. He made me one of my favorite soups(his grandmother's broccoli and cheese) and citrus fruit smoothies and even rented movies that he knew I would love(usually we have to do some negotiating when it comes to movies). He took such good care of me and made me so comfortable. I have never seen a man with such compassion and love. Initially I tried to keep all emotion and talk of what was going on away from Aubree. However, the night before my doctors appointment I had a weak momment. All along I had forced myself to think positively and not allow thoughts of negativity and fear to tant my mind. But I was hit hard all of a sudden with all these emotions of fear and the unknown and Kerry sat and held me in the bedroom as I cried. I didn't think at the time Aubree was around or could make out what was going on. Then a few days later she told her Bebe, "My Daddy is strong, he can hold my Momma." Bebe not knowing where this is going said, "Yes, he is" Aubree then told her,"He holds my Momma when she cries about her neck." From the momment Bebe told me that I knew I needed to talk more openly yet age appropriately with Aubree about what was happening instead of pretending nothing was happening at all. It was a very tough time for us as a family. We were all a little fearful of the unknown. Although the majority of the time we did a good job on staying positive and finding hope in what we knew to be true. I must at this time say thank you to my wonderful mother. She had such optimistic and encouraging words of wisdom during the entire process. Never once did she allow me to see the fear she must have felt. But I know it was there, she was just too strong and had enough strength for the both of us. When I called her with the report from the pathologist and told her it was benign, she was so happy and said, " Guess I can cut my hair now." She shared with me that even though I had been a little annoyed with her new, longer than ever hair do and had not only mentioned her needing to get it cut and styled numerous times but I even bought her a gift certificate with a stylist at a salon and at the time she acted as if she just didn't know what she wanted to get done to it. In all actuality, she told me she was growing her hair out because we have the same color(give or take a few gray hairs) and texture of hair so that if I had to loose mine she would be able to have a wig made of her hair for me. What an amazing mother I have!!! Hearing her tell me that not only melted my heart but made me feel like such a horses rear for all the comments I had made about her needing to do something with her hair. What an example my mother has been for me of a mother's love for their children. She has time and time again given her all to me and lifted me up when I wasn't sure I could stand on my own. She is an inspiration to me daily. I know she reads this and I just hope she knows how grateful I am. I love u, Mom! I have also felt a tremendous amount of love from my mother-in-law and have been ever so thankful for her wisdom and comforting words. I have an amazing support system and could never mention all the compassion and encouragement people have given to me but please know every word, phone call, card and flower sent meant the world to me. I appreciate it more than I could ever express! I am anxious for the wound to heal and to allow this experience to leave a lasting impression on my life. I believe everything happens for a reason. I want to use this trial as a testimony of what God can do and how precious every breath truly is. I never want to take this life for granted. I hope I live each day to the fullest and allow God to use me in the way He has planned. Thanks again for all the prayers, love and support!!

The month of February was quite a whirl wind and with all the chaos I easily neglected my blog. The month started off with Kerry getting sick super bowl weekend. On Monday he tested positive for type A flu and by Monday night Aubree and I were running fever as well. Our household was out of commission for a full week but thanks to an early start on tamfliu Bree and I had a much milder case than Kerry did. At least we were all home piled up in bed together. And thanks to my wonderful Mom and Mema, we had food delivered to our door step daily. I LOVE my Momma's potato soup and Mema made sure Aubree didn't go without her beans and cornbread while she was stuck in the house. The country girl loves any kind of beans. We enjoyed a romantic night at Olive Garden in celebration of Valentine's Day. There was nothing more perfect than spending time with my two loves. And although Kerry had class after dinner, I still enjoyed a lil shopping with my lil love bug. Aubree and I also made cute, mini cupcakes for her grandparents and class party on Tuesday. They turned out so precious and were very yummy and fun to bake! It was as perfect as any Monday could be. I enjoyed a fun Saturday night in the big city with my girlfriends in celebration of Mandi's upcoming marriage. We stayed at a very modern hotel, Aloft and ate fresh sushi at Kiniche and then topped the night off at Ghost Bar. Which I must say has the most awesome city scape view I have ever seen in the Dallas area. We didn't run into any famous stars at Ghost Bar but I will admit we felt like for one night we were the rich and famous. LOL! It was so much fun and a great night of female bonding. The following weekend was the couple shower for Matt and Mandi and it was another great night with wonderful couples and families. On the 24th I went to see my endocrinologist for a routine check up. I took Aubree hoping to enjoy a little more time with her before I took her to school. Well, the appointment went south real fast when I told the doctor that based on an ultrasound I had done it looked like the tissue had changed. She immediately wanted another FNA(biopsy) and I certainly wasn't counting on that since we had just had one a few months prior. I guess I was sorta in denial and trying to make lightly of the change until the doctor expressed her concern. Well Aubree stood right there beside me holding my hand as the doc stuck a HUGE needle into my neck four times to collect the sample. Aubree didn't even shed a tear. She was so brave and mature. Next I was off to the lab for some blood work and then would be waiting about seven days for a phone call from the doctor. Meanwhile, we celebrated the union of our two dear friends at Stone Oak Ranch. It was a beautiful ceremony and a great reception. Aubree really did not like her Momma dancing at all. Every time she would realize I was on the dance floor she would pull my back off. But I love to dance and I would wait til she was playing and dancing with the other lil girls and sneak right back out there. he-he! Besides, isn't she too young to already be embarressed by her Momma?? At home we turn the radio up and dance all the time. I was surprised she had such a beef with it, but she clearly did. One thing that we have both been enjoying lately is playing at the local park a couple times per week. This is perfect weather and the mosquitos haven't taken over yet. We have so much fun and I even managed to sneak in a few pictures. Aubree's joyful laughter and those memories are PRICELESS! It has been a tradition to spend Sunday afternoons at our second home with the Dugan's. We have enjoyed this beautiful sunshine outdoors. The guys throwing horse shoes while the kiddos zoom around on the four wheelers and us women enjoy relaxing in the warm air. Its really a perfect, relaxing way to end the weekend. I received a call from my doctor early Monday morning saying the pathology report came back saying I had a follicular lesion with Hurthle cell neoplasm. The doctor requested a second opinion and had me do more blood work. In the mean time I was trying to stay true to what I know is the truth and not let my mind wonder. The second report came back the same as the first and my blood work was all out of whack again. We discovered I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which does explain my hypothyroidism. A Hurthle cell tumor is an uncommon and controversial neoplasm. The pathologic determination of malignancy is difficult as the architectural and cytological features of the benign and malignant tumors overlap. FNA is useful only to establish the presence of Hurthle cell neoplasm. The final diagnosis is dependent on histological analysis of the surgical specimen. Therefore, the only safe way to tell what we are dealing with is to have it removed. This has been a very scary realization and I am reluctant to have my thyroid removed but at this point have no other option. I am diligently praying for the tumor to be benign and for the small uncertainties not to cloud my mind. In all honesty, I am fearful of surgery and uncomfortable with the idea of having a scar across my neck but at this time those are minor worries and I am focusing right now on doing what needs to be done. I do believe in the power of prayer and would gladly ask everyone to pray for a good outcome. I have found comfort in several scriptures but this week am reading in the book of Peter and am reminded in Peter 1:1-10 why God gives us trials in our lives. This has been an eye opening experience to say the least. I have an appointment with the surgeon on Monday the 14th and am ready to get this show on the road. For the remainder of this week I am enjoying this beautiful weather and every precious moment God blesses me with. I will use the trials we are faced with to grow closer to God and to my family. I am so blessed and often we get caught up in worldly things and take for granted our health and our amazing bodies and our loved ones. I could go on forever but to keep it short, this is a life changing experience and I have to realize that God is in control and with us every step of the way. I find peace in God!